Seeing is Believing
by Dragonscalesagain
Summary: Amy becomes obsessed with Josh - will it harm his relationship with Donna?


**Seeing is Believing **

Amy's POV

She knew what she was doing was close to stalking, she knew it wasn't rational, but she couldn't help it. When they split up, she kidded herself she was fine, that she was strong, that she should have expected it. She raged and got drunk, but in the end she was just left empty.

They should have been so good together, the perfect fit, so alike, but _he_ was never understanding enough, never let her have her say. It had never felt completely right, no matter how good the make up sex after a row.

So it was over, but she was still living the relationship, feeling like half of her was missing. Why didn't it work? When the apartment opposite his came up for rent, it seemed the natural thing for her to rent it. She still kept her old one, she would sometimes sleep there and sometimes eat, but her evenings when she had them were now filled with him and her binoculars.

She waited and watched for some evidence, because she was sure they only reason they hadn't worked was because of the other woman in his life – his assistant extraordinaire. She couldn't fathom why else she was left in this way… she was his perfect match, it should have worked. So she would get proof of the spanner in the works and then confront him – tell him she knew that he was sleeping with his assistant, that he had been all along; tell him she would go to the press if he didn't come back to her and leave the blonde one. Yes, that's what she would do.

She watched him at night, getting home at 10 or after, always alone. He'd rarely close his blinds, either not realising or not caring who could see. He'd usually stumble through the door, dump his bag and coat wearily, saunter to the kitchen, eat something, maybe drink a beer. Some nights he went straight to bed. He'd wander into the bedroom undressing as he went, completely oblivious to his open blinds and her presence across the street – watching. He'd emerge from his en-suite sometime naked, sometimes in boxers, he always took her breath away and it always made her more resolute to get him back.

He would get into bed and immediately pick up the phone. Who was he calling - his mother? Probably not as he and the blonde one were always bickering about how bad he was at calling her. From across the street she could see him smile into the receiver, raise his eyebrow at something said to him, grin broadly – obviously relaxing as he talked. And then that would be it, he would turn the light out and she would doze off across the street, dreaming of him.

Mornings she would wake up cold and stiff, cursing herself for not going home, but in some way overjoyed she got to watch him again – no point in going home now and besides, she couldn't risk meeting him in the street – she needed to make sure he was gone before she left.

She would watch until the lights went on, he'd always be on the phone – she knew it was the assistant. Donna always woke him up, even at the weekend, which had been what their first row had been about because he had insisted that Donna had to wake him, that only _she_ could be trusted to do the job. Amy didn't like the way he would, no matter how entwined they were in bed, move away from her the moment the phone rang, and that would be it, nothing but a good-bye kiss as he disappeared for the day. She watched as he smiled in the receiver, sat up, rubbed his hand over his hair, smiled again and put the phone down. He'd then wander to the bathroom and emerge 10 minutes later wrapped in a towel, or still drying himself off, giving her flashes of the body she had once had in her bed and now missed so much. Within another 10 minutes he was gone, down the steps and up the street, backpack slung over his shoulder, not looking back.

This went on for months, and she wanted to stop but Amy couldn't help herself. She had to know, had to see him as often as she could. Then one day the pattern changed, because one Friday night, not long after Amy got to her viewing post, he appeared with Donna in tow. He'd taken the car that day, and as they got out and walked across the street she could tell there was something different in both of them. It wasn't his hand on his assistant's back, which was a constant; it was the urgency and the synchronicity that they displayed. Up the stairs and out of sight, then as Amy tracked the binoculars to his apartment's front door, through the door, Josh leading the way, pulling Donna by the hand.

She watched as they stood looking at each other, they both started to talk at once, both stopped and laughed. Josh moved to take Donna's coat, she smiled and let him, he disappeared with it into the closet and then moved to the kitchen, returning with a beer. Josh handed it to Donna without a word, Donna drank from it and passed it back, Josh took a long slug himself and then placed it on the coffee table. Then it happened.

So suddenly, that in a blink they were kissing, Josh with his hands cupping Donna's head, Donna's doing the same. It was soft and tentative and Amy realised this was a first kiss – what she had assumed about them was wrong, she was not the other woman in the traditional sense. She watched as their kisses continued, watched as they increased, watched as they broke apart and grinned manically at each other, and then it began again.

Amy watched them for a long time, tears streaming down her face – suddenly she knew that she and Josh had never been the perfect match, just watching them kiss was enough to see the balance in their relationship – how they fitted perfectly. It had never been like this between Amy and Josh – their making out had been a competition, Amy never wishing to give an inch, always trying to dominate. Josh and Donna were partners in the kiss, not opponents.

Across the street Josh and Donna had progressed to the bedroom – the blinds wide open as usual, the light on low in the corner. Amy couldn't tear her eyes away from them. Josh kissed his way around Donna's neck, in the mean time Donna was unbuttoning his shirt, having already disposed of his tie. All the time they were moving towards the bed and suddenly Josh's legs hit it and he tumbled backwards taking Donna with him – they landed on the bed with a bounce and both burst out laughing. Amy was struck by how different Josh was with Donna, when he and Amy had slept together, neither of them had really smiled that much – it was passionate certainly, but it was serious, adult, life changing Amy had thought at the time. Josh and Donna seemed to be having much more fun.

By this time Donna was straddling Josh, gazing down at him and saying something that made him smile, Amy could see the admiration on his face and watched as his expression changed to awe as Donna removed her sweater and very quickly afterwards her bra. Josh shot up, almost toppling Donna off him in his urgency; he caught her and captured her mouth again, moving his hands to massage her breasts, stopping the kiss to whisper in her ear. Donna threw her head back and appeared to moan, Josh's hands moved to her nipples, and his mouth captured hers again. Suddenly Donna broke away, and went to pull at Josh's undershirt, he helped her and as soon it was off pulled her back to him pressing her close and kissing her neck.

Donna rocked back off Josh and out of his grasp, he tried to grab her again, but she backed away, smiling and unbuttoning her pants. Josh caught on quickly and did the same stripping with urgency and laughing as he got his feet caught, trying to pull everything off at once.

Amy couldn't believe her eyes as Donna pushed Josh back on the bed, straddled him again, but moved lower this time, bending and looking up at him from under her curtain of blonde hair. Josh's eyebrows shot up and then his head fell back as Donna took his length in her mouth. This was something Amy had never done, not since she was in college, and never for Josh, never since her sense of feminism had been ignited. She thought it demeaning and so subservient, to kneel in front of a man while he stood and 'worship' him. As she watched though, Amy saw something different, the position Josh and Donna were on the bed meant he was at her mercy, but equally Donna was sacrificing her comfort and pleasure for a few minutes to make sure Josh had his. Suddenly Amy's opinion of giving head changed, suddenly she wished she had relinquished the struggle just once, she wished she had been the one to put the look on Josh's face.

Amy saw Josh sit up, Donna moved with him, before you could blink he grabbed her and turned them both over, kissing and giggling as they went. Amy stared with jealousy as Josh went to town between Donna's legs, it took almost no time at all for Donna to start shuddering, and Amy remembered Josh's skill. Amy put the binoculars, resolute to turn away, not sure she could witness anything else. But somehow, she couldn't not watch, she was drawn to the scene across the street, before she knew it she was watching again.

In the mean time Josh had eased himself into Donna and they were now rocking together, Donna's legs locked around his back, his arms protectively around her shoulders and head, cradling as she did him. They barely stopped kissing to catch breath, even as they sped up, obviously heading toward their climax, gazing at each other. The act was truly intimate and Amy again felt a pang. For much the same reasons for not going down on her knees, Amy would always insist on being on top, and usually she would sit straight up, using her internal muscles to keep Josh begging for more but never really allowing him close. Sure he would finger her to orgasm as she rode him, but she sometimes felt he did it out of duty rather than a desire to please.

Suddenly Josh and Donna became frantic in their movements, mouths fused, thrusting and pushing until they collapsed together, obviously spent. After a few seconds they both moved and looked at each other, grinning like idiots.

Amy couldn't stand it, she couldn't see why they were so good, and she and Josh hadn't been, despite all that she had seen, she still couldn't find that final piece of the puzzle. She sat and stared at the floor for many minutes, remembering all the times she had been with Josh. The first time had been fast and furious, up against the inside of her front door. They had both been desperate and it had felt so right, so hot. She had had control of the whole thing, she had demanded and Josh had responded. The passion they both showed in their jobs reflected in their actions – the act was never so good again. After that first time though, so hot and heavy against the door, it had felt awkward, clothes had to be picked up, shirts re-arranged, lipstick wiped from the wrong face. They had sat and watched TV for a bit, drinking beers (one each), and had eventually moved to the bedroom where she had coaxed him to perform a second time, looking down at him as she rode to orgasm. He had always performed – but now in reflection she wasn't sure if they had ever truly been together.

It was just beginning to dawn on Amy that all had not been as it should, when she caught movement in the bedroom across the street. Josh was crossing from the bathroom back to the bed, he got in and spooned against Donna, moving her hair from her neck and nibbling. She smiled and said something, Josh grinned and bantered back running a hand under the covers. He obviously touched something sensitive because the next moment Donna was pressing back into him gasping. Again Amy was stunned, as she stared she realised they were at it again, so soon and in such and intimate position that is could only be described as love making. Amy had never liked being taken from behind, again it made her feel demeaned, it made her feel like a piece of flesh – but here again Josh and Donna were proving her wrong. After a few minutes of increasing activity Josh and Donna both climaxed, Josh with his face pressed into Donna's neck, her hand reaching up to tease his dark curls, his hand teasing her nipples. They stilled, exchanged a few soft kisses, talked a little and appeared to fall asleep, right where they were – still connected together.

Finally she knew – she had been a fool and had almost gone mad over Josh, and it had all been for nothing, because she had never trusted him enough to let him be her equal and partner. She had always assumed he would use her like she was using him, and by doing that she had never let him show her all the love he could. Amy had an epiphany, almost as if coming to after anaesthetic, she realised she was sitting in a cold empty apartment, watching a couple in their most private moment, like some crazy woman. She mentally shook herself, jumped up and dropped the binoculars, they smashed as they hit the floor, the lenses pinging off into the corners of the room. She ran down the stairs and out onto the street, mentally making a list of all she had to do, firstly get rid of the apartment, secondly get an analyst to sort her out and thirdly, thirdly and most importantly find someone to love her like Josh obviously loved Donna.

Josh's POV

It had been about a month since he'd first noticed it. One morning he had come out of the shower and had noticed the reflection of a lens in the window across the road. He wasn't completely sure and moved back across the room to have a second look. Yep, there was definitely something there. His mind raced – who could be watching him and why? He knew he would have to talk to the agents, Ron would be best if he had time. He went back to the bathroom to get dressed and considered the best and worst case scenario.

He was afraid to consider the worst possibility, all the fears from Roslyn suddenly came flooding back, what if it was someone who wanted to hurt him or worse Donna? That was the worst; it was a damn shame when the best you could hope for was a reporter trying to get a story. By the time he had dressed he had come up with a plan – instead of just picking up a coffee from the café at the end of the street, he would stop, wait and watch to see if anyone left the 'empty' apartment opposite his.

Ten minutes later he was sitting a table back from the window in the café; it still had a good view but was shaded by the natural reflection of the glass. He watched and waited, praying for someone with a camera bag and a telephoto lens, and not for a skinhead with a wild looking eye to trot down the steps of the opposite apartment. What he did see almost made spit out the sip of coffee he had just taken. _Amy_ hurried down the steps, looked both ways and walked up the street towards the café and right past the window. She looked terrible, like she had had no sleep, thinner than he'd ever seen her and… well he couldn't describe it, just not right. He should be worried, he thought, he should care more, but she had been such a bitch to him when they split up, and to Donna too. She had played games with him, used him and made a fool of him on more than one occasion. Josh wouldn't have been human if he didn't take a little satisfaction in how bad she looked.

Josh, still shocked, finished his coffee and went to work. On top of his actual job, he now had three extra things to sort out, he had to talk to Ron Butterfield, he had to ring Stanley and he had to figure out how this affected his burgeoning relationship with Donna.

Not long after Josh had finished with Amy he had finally woken up to what was right in front of him. It had just hit him one long hard day. He'd spent the afternoon on the hill fighting with unruly party members, he'd come back and got chewed out by Leo for something he had failed to do, he'd had a message from his mum and only then realised it was the anniversary of the fire, and he spilt coffee on the only shirt he had at the office. As he stormed back into his office he found a full cup of fresh coffee on his desk – a new white shirt sat on his chair and Donna sitting in the visitor's chair chatting with his mom on the phone. As he took the scene in front of him he felt a pull in his heart and butterflies in his chest – without even being asked Donna has fixed all she could of his life, she had cared and understood, as she always did, as he suddenly wanted to do for her. At that moment she finished up with his mom, looked up, smiled and passed the handset across. Their fingers brushed and Josh felt his heart lurch.

That had been the start of the path they were now on, the flirting had increased, they'd been spending even more time together, Josh had taken Donna out for dinner rather than ordering in. He'd been to talk to Leo about the situation and had a plan to keep them working together on all but paper. It was all set, but now he seemed to have his ex-girlfriend stalking him – this couldn't be good.

He figured out why Amy and he hadn't worked, in fact he'd figured it out about two weeks into their relationship, but had tried to ignore the revelation, fearful of what it meant about him. On paper they were perfect, ambitious, successful and willing to do anything to get the job done. In reality this meant that they clashed on every possible point they could, and the only time they were really in sync was when they were in bed. Even then Amy fought him, dominated him and not in an erotic way. He always felt he was walking on egg shells, and he was sure sex should have been more fun.

Josh spent the day hard at work, but he did manage to catch Ron and call Stanley. After a brief and some what reassuring conversation with Ron, Josh now had an agent tailing him at a distance and keeping an eye on everything. Josh wasn't to change his behaviour or start doing anything towards Amy himself. He had to and did put his trust in Ron. Stanley gave Josh some advice as his friend rather than his analyst. He also advised Josh not to change his behaviour, and not to worry about progressing his relationship about Donna. He said Amy might need a shock to wake her up to her behaviour, that all Josh could do was stay at a distance and let those who cared for her know what she was doing. Josh decided to hold off telling anyone else until he was sure, until his agent confirmed she was doing it regularly.

Josh got back as late as usual that night, it was easy to stay late at work, Donna was there. He stumbled through the door, shrugged off his coat, and headed straight to the bedroom, wondering this time if someone was watching him. He knew he had to behave as normal, but the thought of stripping with an audience did not appeal. He reasoned if it was Amy, she'd seen it all before, so he continued to his en-suite stripping as he went. Once he'd done what he needed he sauntered back to the bed, slipped under the covers and reached for the phone.

There was only one person he wanted to ring at this time of night – Donna. They had begun their little goodnight ritual a few weeks back, Josh phoning Donna to say goodnight, to mirror the way she had always rung him to wake him. It was one of the indications that things had changed between them. They didn't talk for long or about anything important – it wasn't phone sex, they hadn't even kissed yet, it was just comfort at the end of a long day.

Every morning Donna would ring and wake him, it was not anything new, she did it when Josh was seeing Amy, in fact it created a row – and with Mandy a few year's before. As his relationship with Amy continued he took it as another indication that things weren't working, that he waited desperately for his phone to ring each morning, waited for the excuse to move from her repressive grip and speak to the only voice he wanted to hear.

One Friday, things changed between Josh and Donna. They had been sitting in his office late in the afternoon, and Josh had made a decision – he couldn't wait any longer. He asked Donna to come home with him, hoping she would understand what he was saying. It appeared she did, because she smiled, accepted the invitation, got up off the floor where she sat and went to get her coat and bag. They barely spoke on the drive home, and Josh had to keep himself from running up the stairs and dragging Donna with him once they got home. Instead they very demurely walked up the steps outside, up the stairs inside and through the door.

Josh faced Donna nervously, now they had made the decision, he wasn't sure what to do. What he needed was a drink, so having taken Donna's coat, he sauntered as calmly as he could into the kitchen to get a beer. He only had one, but he knew that didn't matter, they always shared anyway. Taking the cap off, he took a long drink, partly to steady his nerves, partly to wet his parched mouth. It was ridiculous to be this nervous with Donna, but nonetheless he was. He walked back and passed her the beer and watched as she drank, mesmerised by her movements. She passed it back; he took another drink and placed it down on the table.

And then, like they were pulled by some invisible force they were together and kissing and it was like nothing on earth. Josh had dreamt about kissing Donna since almost the moment he met her, but the reality was so much better. He brought his hands up to the sides of her face to pull her closer, desperate for more contact. She did the same and there bodies pressed together, tongues tangling, lips soft and insistent at the same time. It was a first kiss, but at the same time it was as if they had done it all their lives. They seemed to fit perfectly – the kiss felt like coming home.

Josh believed what was happening, how could he not with the woman of his dreams in his arms, this was so much better than it had ever been, it had to be real, or he might just die from misery. He and Donna were instinctive, after years of being together platonically they could read each other's body language perfectly, knew when each was going to move, expect for the need for air, they need never stop kissing.

Josh began to walk backwards into the bedroom, never leaving Donna's lips and pulling her along with him. So distracted were they by the kissing that Josh misjudged where the bed was and before he knew it he was lying flat on his back with Donna sprawled on top of him. He also noticed that his tie had disappeared and the buttons on his shirt were undone. He looked up at Donna and his face broke in a huge dimply grin – they both burst out laughing and Josh pulled her closer to continue the kissing. This was what love should be, thought Josh, it shouldn't be a battle it should be fun and free and trusting.

Josh felt bereft as Donna leaned up and straddled him, how could he have gone 40 years without kissing her? Donna looked down at him, looked him straight in the eye and whispered the three magic words 'I love you'. Josh felt his heart stop and was about to return the sentiment when he realised Donna had moved. Before he knew it she had removed her sweater and bra and was heading back his way. Josh shot up and grabbed Donna back to him, so their bodies were pressed hard together, kissing her urgently, playing with her perfect pink tipped breasts. He took his chance and whispered in her ear 'I love you too, I'm going to show you how much'. This prompted Donna to moan and gasp and the only thing that Josh could do was kiss her again. Donna broke away, apparently desperate to get Josh naked, which made him smile, he smiled even more as she removed his undershirt and then they were pressed chest to chest and he was kissing her neck.

She broke away again, and Josh thought he should be getting annoyed, trying to keep her in close he leant up and followed her as she gained her balance. Only then did he realise she was taking off the rest of her clothes. This was action he needed to get in on, and suddenly they were both frantically stripping, giggling as they each got caught up in the urgency.

Unexpectedly and suddenly, a now naked Donna had Josh flat on his back on the bed. She straddled him, bent over and looked up at him from under a curtain of blonde hair and before he could quite catch up with what's going on her head moved south and she began to lick and caress. This hadn't happen to him for quite some time, and he had forgotten quite how good it felt. Amy had never done it, and the one time he tried to imply it might be nice, he'd had to listen to a 15 minute tirade about how demeaning it was. Josh didn't feel it was demeaning, after all, Donna had teeth, that and she had him flat on his back and all he could think about was her. She had total control and he submitted to the care she was giving him. Her tongue continued to swirl, her lips sucked and Josh suddenly realised he would have to stop her if he wanted to end the evening the way he had planned. He also wanted to reciprocate her actions – desperate to taste her.

In one swift movement he leaned up, Donna moved away from her work at that moment and he caught her and turned them over. Josh stared at the sight before him, Donna splayed out on the bed, blonde hair, flushed cheeks and white skin, it was more than he could take, he plunged between her legs, lifting her calves over his shoulders so he could spread her wide. She was dripping wet already and he easily slipped his fingers into her as he tongued her clit. She was shuddering in seconds, another surprise for Josh, the last woman he had been with like this – Amy, had taken ages to get there, but he would persist, jaw aching, because at the time he wanted to please her. With Donna, jaw ache was not a problem.

Donna whimpered above him, and pleaded with him to be inside her. Josh didn't need telling twice and he moved his way up her body, kissing as he went. They both stilled for a moment, when his cock touched her wetness. Locking eyes with her, Josh eased into Donna, both of them gasping at the new feeling, the total connection they finally had. Donna raised her legs so Josh was complete surrounded by them, he manoeuvred himself so he was close enough to kiss her as he moved inside, knowing that his body was also hitting her clit in just the right place. Suddenly the rest of the world disappeared nothing else existed but Donna and Josh and the pleasure they were giving each other. They became frantic in their movement, barely stopping to breathe between kisses, riding each other towards sweet oblivion, and then they were there, at exactly the same time. Josh couldn't remember a time it had been like this. He collapsed down onto Donna, still inside her and panting hard. He moved his head to look at her and found her matching his own wide grin.

This is perfect, thought Josh, this is how it should be. He had no urge to move from Donna, there was no awkwardness of embarrassment in letting each other see this side of them. Far from ruining what Josh and Donna had in friendship, it only seemed to cement it further.

'We are so doing that again' Donna giggled looking down at him. At that moment Josh knew that he would never let her go and it wasn't scary or worrying, it was the most natural thing in the world. He had spent almost 35 years on his own in the world, wondering how he had missed the 'relationship' bit of his education, dating the women he thought he should. Then a blonde girl had taken over his life and found her way into his heart and he realised that he had in actual fact been 'married' in all reality to Donna for years. The only thing they hadn't done is acted on their feelings and now they were there was only good to look forward to.

Finally Josh felt he had to move, in the position he was in, his legs were going to sleep, and despite the fact Donna didn't say, he was pretty sure he was restricting her breathing. He moved off her, sat up, offered her a glass of water and wandered buck naked into the bathroom to get it. As he came back to the bed he saw Donna had turned to her side, facing the window. In a flash the reality that they might be being watched came back to him. In the same moment he became resolute in his need to show Amy that they were well and truly over. He hoped the advice he had been given was correct – he hoped a shock would shake her out of what ever obsession she was in.

Josh eased under the covers and spooned up against Donna, nibbling her neck. She sighed and that was all it took for him to find himself hard again. Donna noticed too and mentioned, commenting on his prowess for his age. Josh rose to the challenge, moving his hand down her front and between her legs. She was still sopping wet from before and she moaned as soon as he touched her. Donna lifted her leg and before either of them really knew Josh had slipped into her. They began to move gently, their position allowing for every sensitive spot to get the attention it needed. Donna reached her arm back to play with Josh's hair, Josh's hands massaged her nipple and her clit and quickly and quietly they both came again. Josh was surprised that this could feel even more intimate than their first position, but he supposed it was the level of trust involved. He sighed, closed his eyes and fell asleep, still in Donna, still trembling from what she did to him.

The next morning Josh was sauntering around his apartment in his boxers, cup in hand, while Donna slept on in the bedroom. He would join her soon, but at the moment he was just enjoying a happiness like he'd never felt before. He glanced across the street at the empty flat. Staring hard he could not see any sign of lenses, people or anything else. Later that day he was going to ask Donna to move in with him. He knew they'd get married soon enough, but one thing at a time. A week later Josh noticed a 'To Let' sign on the opposite apartment and Ron informed him he didn't need his shadow anymore.


End file.
